


Slip Up

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Toppy/Dommy Kylo [15]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 09:13:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10357071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Things go less than smoothly.





	

Hux is in one of _those_ moods, which he normally tries his best to hide, even now. No matter how much Kylo tells him it’s okay, and that he’s absolutely fine with _anything_ Hux wants, the frame of mind he slips into makes it difficult for him to voice what it is he really needs.

But right now, the way Hux is acting: he wants the shame and humiliation part. He likes those because he thinks he deserves them, and he won’t ever admit - even to himself - that he likes them because of the comfort _after_. He pretends to himself that he’s fine, he’s strong, he’s together… and he **is**. But there’s times he wants these other things, instead. The kind of treatment that makes his face hot red, and sends splotches of emotion over his pale skin like water-scalds.

Hux’s teeth bite the inside of his cheek, and Kylo barks at him to kneel. The General wavers, pulled between twin gravities, unable to decide which is more compelling. The need to be Strong, or the need to Obey. Every leader in a rank structure feels the same: a desire to be commanded, and a need to command.

Between them, the roles are unfixed. There is no external proof of superiority, and it’s negotiated on a daily basis. Today, Hux _needs_ to be told what to do, but he’s _fighting_ it, which means he needs it even more.

Kylo forces his voice even deeper. “ **I said: down**.”  


Hux’s eyes flood, and he doesn’t drop to his knees, which worries Kylo. Normally, by now, he’d comply. Even when resisting, he’d comply. He came begging silently for touches, but in that way that meant he wanted the fight of it, first. 

It’s not working. Normally, Hux will cave after enough pressure. There’s a moment of tension before it’s decided, and then he goes, and it’s all fine. But right now, he looks on the verge of _running_ , and that’s not right. Not right at all.

“Hux?” he asks, much softer.  


“I– I c-c–”  


Kylo stands up, at last, and reaches for his shoulder. Hux flinches away, now, like it burns, and a squawking noise blurts out.

“Hux… it’s okay. I’m here… I’m sorry, I thought you wanted that…”  


He clearly doesn’t want _that_ , and this is a new thing. He’s never seen him like this, and it’s distressing to him. It was just supposed to be play, supposed to be part of their ever-shifting landscape of command and conquer. A love-game, and now Hux looks like he’s been betrayed by, and failed Kylo, in equal measure.

“It’s… f-f-fffffine, I…”   


“Hux… will you let me hold you?” he asks, his voice shifting from Command to Comfort. He’s not sure of the rules of _this_ , so he’s approaching it with caution. He doesn’t want to make any more assumptions, and he watches with horror as the expressions swamp his lover’s face.

Hux _hates_ showing how he feels, normally. He’ll do so in private, but he still prefers only positive emotions. This - this weakness - is so unlike him.

“ _Please_ ,” Kylo begs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought it was what you wanted.”  


Hux crumples into him, then, letting the last of his isolation go as he grabs his waist and pushes into his chest. Kylo wraps all around him, stroking, kissing, touching. He tries to reassure him with warmth and strength, so overcome with sorrow himself that his chest aches.

“ _I… thought… you didn’t want me, or… I’d… I thought you were… disappointed…”_  


“ **Never** ,” Kylo vows, fiercely, clutching him all the tighter. “I want you to know that. Not ever, not once. You _never_ disappoint me, and I _always_ want you. If I act differently, it’s because it’s a game, Hux. And if you’d rather I don’t play like that, I’ll remember…”  


“…s-sometimes, but… I…”  


“Not today?” Kylo offers, trying to help his stammering tongue.  


Hux nods, and Kylo continues to stroke him. He kisses his cheek, his neck, and caresses his spine from skull to tailbone. The man shakes against him, and he tries to pour all of his compassion and affection into every place they touch.

“Not today,” Kylo promises. “You’re my everything, Hux. Everything. You could never let me down. I swear to you, and I would never lie to you. If you ever need me to reassure you… you can ask.”  


“ _I can’t_.”   


“Then ask me something else… ask me what the weather is like. Ask me something entirely unrelated to the day, and I’ll remind you that I love you. Because I do. Even when you’re feeling like this.” He rocks them both, taking their weight from one hip to the other. “And I’ll try better to remind you, but it _is_ true. Even when you feel awful, or you think… you’re… not enough. I love you even more then, because you need me to.”  


Hux nods, and shudders. “Can we sit?”

“For as long as you need,” he promises, and scoops him to his chest. He doesn’t often steal Hux’s legs from under him, but when he needs to, he will. He takes him to the couch, and cuddles him as fiercely as he dares, without breaking him any further.  


The fingers at his clothing curl into the folds, and Kylo wraps him up even tighter.

“I love you,” he whispers, and kisses every inch of his face. “I love you so much.”  


Hux doesn’t answer, but he does slowly start to unravel. That’s close enough.


End file.
